Welcome to Holland

I meant to share this a while ago but it slipped my mind. This was a poem (which has been around for quite sometime) that was shared with me by the most AMAZING doctor that took care of Jake in December of 08 while he was at the hospital. She took the time to personally get to know me and our son and she invested so much into helping us on our journey with our wonderful little man. I think about her and this poem so often whenever I start to feel overwhelmed. It helps remind me of how lucky we are to have such an amazing, loving, happy, and beautiful child. It helps remind me that we are simply blessed. He has taught everyone so much about love and acceptance. He is truly the most special child. (Even though we don't have a "diagnosis", the author wrote this poem about her son who was diagnosed with Down's syndrome.)

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Beautifully says so many of the thoughts we have had (and sometimes still have). It's not easy letting go of expectations, hopes, and wishes. It is beautiful when I think back to how much we have learned about acceptance, patience, unconditional love, and family. Love our precious Jake.