Update and prayers

Yesterday was a rough day. I wasn't going to blog about this but after thinking about it yesterday afternoon, there are two reasons that I am sharing. One is that this is good for me-to be able to write about this crazy ride we have been on for quite some time. Not only about Jake but about this pregnancy too. And two, we need some serious prayers right now. So after you read this, please say a prayer for our little girl and some prayers for her mom and dad's well being would be appreciated too.

The great news, and what I was most worried about, is that baby B is growing. She is 1 pound, while her sister is 1 lb 4 ounces. They have both gained 6 ounces in the last 16 days. Baby A is right on track and looking wonderful. She hid her face from the ultrasound yesterday so I didn't get a picture of her. She looks great and is still head up. They have switched which side they are on-baby A on the right and baby B on the left. I guess this is a good time to share that we have names for them-but we are going to keep them between us until they are born. Baby A has an A name and baby B has a B name. Baby B is exactly one week behind her bigger sister. Their weight difference has switched from 23% difference to 18% difference! This is what I was most concerned about...

 

Here's a picture of baby B-she had the hiccups during the ultrasound and you could see her lips move open-close-open-close. She looks like she has tiny lips like her big brother!

However, 2 weeks ago the doctor that I saw said that baby B's cerebellum looked normal from most views but looked abnormal from one view-but not to worry about it. And, I was told not to google it. Thank goodness I had all of the distractions that I've had-so I really can say I kept my mind (mostly) off of that one little thing. Unfortunately, Dr. Heyborne is taking all of his time off now (which will be good for me once I am on bed rest because he'll be back). I saw yet another doctor who was filling in for him-a different one even from 2 weeks ago. Of course I asked the nurse doing the ultrasound how her cerebellum looked, and she said there was no change. Once the doctor came in though, she scared me. She didn't have the best bedside manner but started telling me that by 23 weeks the cerebellum should have fused. The fusing of the two membranes happens before 23 weeks and 23 week is the very end of the bell curve for it to fuse. With that said, she also told us that every baby is on their own growth curve. She told us that baby B has everything else in place. There is nothing else that they can see that doesn't look right. Then she told me about how selective termination (I can't believe I even had to hear this) is difficult at this stage of pregnancy and they (at Swedish or any other hospital in CO) don't even do it with monoamniotic twins at this point, so I'd have to go elsewhere. Well,  I had been holding in my tears, and I just cried. I told her about Jake and literally and honestly told her that I can't go through all of this again. No need to explain my feelings there, so I won't. She said we could get genetic testing done-because whatever one has, the other one should have too. She said that the brain is more of a structural thing and not a genetic thing, so we aren't doing genetic testing yet. Jake has had genetic testing up the yin-yang and nothing has showed up. While they could be different (obviously) I really don't feel like this is a genetic thing but I'm not a doctor. Then she suggested that we do an MRI on baby B's brain to get more information since the 2D ultrasound machine can only do so much. They couldn't get a good side view of her brain. She never used the words severe or life threatening, but she scared me and upset me-and she backpedaled a little...like she had shared too much and she knew it. So basically she wanted me in on Monday for an MRI of her brain. They can't get me in until Wednesday at 2:45 because they need one specific person to review the MRI and I need to have an appointment to have it done. Right now I don't have a lot of information. I have no idea what any of this means. I don't know what is going to happen or where we go from here. Basically, I don't know a lot. What I do know is that she needs serious prayers. We need a miracle. Lots of miracles have been happening all over the place recently and we need one to happen to us. Please, please, please prayer for baby B and for our family.