My boy, my heart

Bobby reminded me recently that I originally wrote this blog about Jake....and obviously life has gotten in the way-oh, and A and B too.

Today I met with Jake's special ed teacher about next year. I tried not to cry-but I did. Sometimes this is so hard. I know he isn't ready for school next year but we don't have any options. If we choose to keep him out a year, even paying out of pocket for him to go to the Village isn't an option, because he is "school age". Then we would have to do a private program and pay for therapy for him. We can't possibly give him all of the opportunities he needs by doing private therapy (the social piece has been hugely motivating for him in the last couple months). While I feel very pushed into this situation with school, I hear what they are saying. The reality is, as heartbreaking as it is, he isn't going to be ready---ever.

I'm not sure what to say. I still cannot believe this is my situation. I can't believe I am talking to his teachers about the severity of his needs.

He will have goals that are written for his needs and that will continue in his next year--whether his is in preschool or kindergarten. Wow. He's really doing it. I will have a baby in kindergarten next year. I am not different from any other parent who sends their baby to kindergarten, it's just that I have a baby who is young and who has severe special needs. So strange. How did I get here? I am so lost and this is part of my profession but right now it is so scary.

While we have some big decisions to make in the next two weeks. The thing I know is that Jake is resilient. He can adjust to any change. He will transition and be fine with anything we decide. Selfishly I want him with me in Castle Rock so I can check in and keep an eye on him and have him with the SSN teacher whom I LOVE, but my heart is telling me that my babe needs as few transitions as possible and I should keep him in the same routine he is used to.  LOTS to think about.

I won't be thinking about it this Saturday though when my husband and I have a date at the PLAYOFF game!! Can't wait for a sea of ORANGE PRIDE!! I love my time with the two of us. We are so lucky to have this time together!

GO BRONCOS!!