HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Hi Jake,

It’s that time of year again. Another birthday. I can’t believe you are five. This year big—and I am mean big things happened. Every year you surprise me. This year you surprised me more than ever.

You are such a wonder. I wish I could be inside your head. I wish I knew what you wanted all the time. The days of giving you whatever and you happily oblidging are over. You have your own voice-which makes me so proud but also gives us challenges we have never faced before.

You are a love. You want to love on anyone and anything that is willing—and not so willing. You love unconditionally. Even if you are in a time-out you still wave to all of us and blow us kisses-which makes keeping a straight face impossible. Your kisses are beyond amazing because they come at the right time and are delivered with closed lips. This means you are growing-and I didn’t think I would miss those open-mouthed kisses but the truth is, I do. I looked back at pictures of you last night buddy, wow. You blow my mind. I never in a million years thought you would be able to do what you do today. I swear you were just a baby in my arms. 

You love your sisters now…but you are testing boundaries too, which is ok because that is what typically five year olds do.  I want to believe you are hitting them because you want to say hi but I know that you are also figuring out how to be yourself and how to push their buttons a little too. They have given us the time to learn how siblings are supposed to be. I couldn't be happier about this. 

You took your first steps ever by yourself a couple of weeks ago and you have never looked back. You always do things this way…in your own time. We have given up our own timetable years ago. Truth is, I’m not sure if I ever really thought you would walk but just when I have that thought, you go and do something like this and change everything--literally our entire world is turned upside down-in the most beautiful way possible. Your teachers last year said to me, “He WILL be a walker.” Now I know they were right. You are a walker. Now you let go of the coffee table and the couch and stand by yourself for a couple of seconds. Avery and Brooklynn will clap for you and then you do it again and again. They are just as proud of you as we are, buddy.

It’s your favorite time of year-baseball AND football are on. You say “baseball” clear as day and we all know you are obsessed with Broncos football.

Kindergarten has been a huge success and you are so happy when you are there. You get a little teary when you go outside to recess but as soon as some very sweet little boys come play with you, you are all smiles. You are walking most of the day and they are really pushing you, which you are ready for and you need. I am so thankful that we made the choice to have you at Runyon. The teachers there have been patient and so kind-with both you AND me. I was worried about nothing. Kristi, Dave, and your teachers tell me that one of your favorite times of the day is going up the wheelchair ramp in your stroller. I am so happy you get joy out of something so simple. But then again that’s you. You see the fun in the plain, the joy in the simple, and the humor in the mundane.

We are headed to San Diego at the end of this month and I can’t wait! I’m so excited to go on a trip with just you. Just mama and Jake. We are going to go to the zoo and the beach too. You have no idea how much fun we are going to have.

This year has tested us more than we thought we would be. Challenges come in the smallest packages. You will always be our first born, our biggest blessing, and you will always own the most beautiful moments of  parenthood we have ever experienced. You are our everything. I wish I could tell you this and know you understand me-but hopefully one day you will. 

Happy birthday, little boy. The night I held you in my arms five years ago began the best chapter of my life. You are the best thing that ever happened to all of us. Everyone is so proud of you. You are a beautiful little soul, baby.

Xoxox To the moon and back,

Mama