Life is sweet

Our main man, first born, and love of our lives has been moving and shaking the last few months. He has been babbling more than ever and picking up on signs like crazy.

Bobby and I go in phases where things are good---we are in a routine--this is what we do, day in and day out...auto pilot.

On the days that we get thrown, it could be a comment from school or something we talk about, it's so hard. I am always a half glass full person and something that I have brought to my relationship with my husband-but I get thrown. We get off path and get so down. We cry. We are so sad. What we should have had in our life. Our ideas, hopes, dreams-will never be what we thought it would be and it sucks. We have always put on a happy face. What's not to love? Jake is the happiest, most loving, empathetic person I've ever met. How does someone love so deeply and so hard-make people feel so good about themselves-and be nonverbal? I'll never know. We will never have the hockey player daddy wanted to have, the t-ball player mommy hoped for. This is real. We are hurting. We are sad and mad.

Jake learned the word "hug" over Christmas break. It's his favorite. He says it 100x times a day and it never gets old. "Hu Mama" is my favorite. Reality and day in and day out is tough. I wouldn't change him for anything but this is hard.

Today when he got in the car I was talking to him and he signed "love" which his daddy taught him. And then he signed "milk" and as soon as we got home he went to the fridge. He surprises me every single day. Our boy. Our love.

Ear Tubes and Adenoids

In October we had the girls evaluated for hearing at the Village for their upcoming evaluations for preschool and both girls failed their hearing tests. I had asked their pediatrician in the spring at their 2 year check up if I should take Brooklynn to the ENT because of her ear infections and he felt that she was doing well enough to skip that. I am furious that I didn't listen to my gut. Fast forward to October of 2014 and both girls had flat tympanograms (meaning their era drum doesn't vibrate because of fluid). I made an appointment with Peggy Kelley at Childrens (1. how could I not love her based on her name 2. she was the doctor that go things rolling for Jake and we will forever be in debt to her) We were able to have their surgeries on Christmas Eve or New Years Ever. Knowing that it would probably be their adenoids taken out too and lots of pain, we took the New Year Eve option. Uncle Andy came over bright and early on New Year's Eve to watch Jake and play hours of ball with him (Jake's best hours ever!!!) while Bobby and I juggled both girls entertaining them before their surgery. Luckily they had Frozen playing and quits and stuffed animals waiting for them. It was adorable. I was so hesitant to take them back to the OR since I had been through this with Jake and didn't ever want to do it again. I remember Jake's eyes rolling back in his head and I was scarred for life. From that one time on, every time Jake went under I sent him with a nurse to be put under.

The most incredible anesthesiologist walked into our lives. He started a relationship with both girls right away. He was kind, young, and funny. He just seemed to take such extra time making them feel good. I went with Avery first and was all dressed in scrubs. He was telling her how to blow up the balloon (with oxygen) and he coaxed her to put on the mask to put her to sleep without a fuss. He told her the story of Gilligan's Island. She fell right asleep (and I handed her off to Dr. Kelley because I didn't want to see what she looked like-it's so scary for me). I went back to hang out with Brooklynn and daddy. 30 min later they were ready for Brooklynn and I did the same routine with Brooklynn but the best part was she was creepily laughing when she went to sleep because the anesthesiologist was making her laugh with another silly story. I went to recovery and could hear Avery crying such a sad weird cry. She snuggled right up to me after loving on daddy for a while. We were expecting Brooklynn to be the same but no so much. Tiny too little has major SPICE. She was still under while having "night terrors". She would freak out for 30 seconds and be fine for 1 minute and then freak out for another 30 seconds. She would pull on her IV (and it had to be reinserted 2 times) and in general hit us and pull at anything she had hands on. It was awful. They gave her 2 shots of strong steroids to knock her out which didn't work....peanut is a fighter as usual. Eventually they took her IV out and sent us home. 2 kids with surgery at the same time...would not recommend. We had a rough few days. Brooklynn also had her tonsils shaved as well as adenoids taken out and tubes put in so it was extra fun with her. By the time their were ready for preschool things evened but it was a tough few days!

Adorable quilts and beannie babies the girls got when they got the the hospital. I LOVE Children's hospital!

Yay! Surgery!

Avery had a hard time leaving....she was so tired she made a bed on the floor while we were getting Brooklynn ready to leave. 

Santa Fail

Not sure which picture is my favorite--BUT I do love when Santa looks like he's asking for HELP (he was). Funniest thing is that despite the fact we have been talking up Santa for the last few days, then we had the Santa fail, we get back in the car and Brooklynn asked to go see santa and sit in his lap again. Yea, ok. 

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was such a wonderful event this year. We had my mom and dad AND lucky for us-we also had Aunt Han! It was such a wonderful day full of food drinks and the Elf on the Shelf. Gammy and Papa got the kids the Elf on the Shelf this year-and while I knew they wouldn't get the idea behind it-they LOVE looking for the elf every morning. Her name is Carly. Papa read the book on Thanksgiving night and the first morning I loved Carly to her new spot between Avery's boots on top of the fridge-and Avery freaked out because she told me, "Carly (they say "Tarly") poop my boots!!!!" and she cried and cried and cried all day. The thing is I couldn't move Carly because you're not supposed to touch them or they lose their magic. It was hell. After nap Carly magically moved to a new spot. Bobby said (a few days in) "Wait....do we have to move her every day?" I said (with enthusiasm) "Yes! Be glad we can get away with easy spots for now." We are so thankful for everything and everyone in our life. Not just to be thought of on these holidays but to be extra appreciated.

He's so handsome.

I an see why we look alike in this picture! My love, Avery!

Swoon. 

Brooklynn

My guy with Gammy!

Listening to the "Elf on the Shelf"

Dentist

Everyone's teeth are heathy! We had the best day at the dentist!

Smidge nervous! Baby came too. 

She brushed like a champ when at the dentist and you'd never know that I have to restrain her every single night. Spicy!

He's the easiest child ever. Dentist said "Open your mouth." he does. 

I SAID I'M PROUD TO BE A CSU RAM!

We took the whole crew up to Fort Collins last weekend to meet my parents for the CSU game. As usual, it was a blast and the kids were amazing. The weather was chilly but everyone pulled through and it was another win for the Rammies! Aunt Han came with us because she just moved back to Denver (YAHOOOOO!!!) and of course Uncle Andy came too. I couldn't have had it go any better!

I cannot explain the connection these two have. It is beyond words and it makes my heart burst. 

Better(ish) than last year!

Veterans Day

Jake had a Veterans Day concert on Tuesday! The 1st graders also sing songs and then they have 50 or so veterans get up and share their rank, years in service, connection to Runyon, etc. and Bobby and I agreed that this was an inspiring and amazing program. Jake was very different this year! Last year the support teachers for the LSS program kids were ons tage too0this year, it was only kids! Jake cried last year and was a complete mess. This year, he sat quietly, didn’t cry-or really talk at all. He participated not the way we would have liked him to participate but it was better than last year!

It is always so hard to see how different he is from everyone else. To have our guy be the only one sitting was really hard. I wanted to cry-but celebrate at the same time. I’m not sure I can explain how that feels. 

That's our dude on the right sitting down!

Jake's class did a poem together

So inspiring to hear from ALL of the veterans during the program. So thankful for all they have done for our freedom.